“Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.” ~ C. S. Lewis in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
So far, 2012 has been a very hard, very painful year. I’ll leave it at that. A few days ago, I was feeling broken down, helpless, and completely alone. I realized in some ways, I had lost sight of my Jesus. I realized that was the reason everything seems so difficult to cope with. So I sat down and started to read one of my favorite Gospels: Mark.
I love Mark because of the pictures of Jesus, the King of the Universe, as a humble servant. I guess it can be so easy for me to get caught up in my busy life and use that as an excuse not to reach out and help those around me. Mark always reminds me that if Jesus could take time out of His three year ministry to help everyone who came along, I have no excuse to turn my back on anyone. But that really is not what I was wanting to talk about tonight. Instead, I want to talk about the entirely new picture of Jesus I got.
Like I said, I was broken and needing to be reminded of exactly what kind of a Savior I have. So I started reading at the beginning and just kept going for a good long while. I was lying in bed, cuddling with my puppy, catching up with my Jesus, looking for comfort. I got something a little bit different. I got Mark chapter six.
Maybe I should rewind a little. Because before chapter six comes chapter five. The end of Mark five is the story of the healing of Jairus’ daughter. If you read my blog at all, you probably know I’ve written several posts about that story and it is one of my favorites. The next thing I found Jesus doing was having compassion on the crowd and miraculously feeding the five thousand. At that point I was feeling pretty comfortable with my Jesus. I kind of think maybe the disciples were, too.
Then another familiar story: Jesus walking on water and calming the storm. The disciples saw Him walking out on the water and were terrified. They had no idea who it was and thought it must be a ghost to have that kind of power. And then Jesus called to them, “Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid!” When He came up into the boat, “they were greatly amazed in themselves beyond measure and marveled.”
That awe-inspiring power had been there all along. I wondered if the disciples felt any fear, knowing they spent their days so close to so much strength. Yet once the boat lands, Jesus is right back to healing the sick. There was so much power and majesty bound up in the same Man with so much tenderness and compassion.
I was wondering. Thinking about this apparent paradox and letting my mind try to understand what the disciples must have felt in those moments on the boat. Then it hit me: I am in the exact same position. Not only do I spend every day with Him, He lives in me!
That was one of those surrender moments. One of those moments where I suddenly realized I have absolutely not control. And no, it definitely was not the kind of comfort I was looking for. And yes, it was a little scary. But it’s okay because this kind of life isn’t really supposed to be safe. He never said it would be. I guess I still do not need to know if it is safe. I just need to know that He is so very, very good.